I am Dr. Siggy Freud, the sister of psychology, and this is my podcast, “You are an ID-iot.”

You ask a question, I answer—if I’m in the mood. Today’s question is from Cinderella. She writes:

Dear Dr. Phil:

For my birthday, my fairy godmother got me a ticket to Prince Charming’s ball. But there’s a catch: I gotta be home by midnight or she’ll turn my coach into a pumpkin. What if I lose my slipper and get home late?

Obviously, you’d have a problem and would need 10 years of therapy to realize that your fairy godmother is passive-aggressive. Luckily for you, I have an annual payment plan.

I also have 3 suggestions:

1. If you find yourself running late, forget the coach, hire an Uber.

2. Don’t wear glass slippers to the party. Wear sneakers you can double-knot so they don’t slip off.

3. Forget the ball. Swap your ticket for a Harry Styles concert. Stay past midnight, drink until you get smashed so you won’t care about driving home in a smashed pumpkin.

And there you have it. I have nothing left to say except, I am Siggy Freud and YOU are an idiot.